How to Create a Powerful Leadership Presence: Bring the Energy -03

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Marli Williams [: 00:00:00

Hey, everyone. What's happening? I am super stoked to welcome you to the Marli Williams podcast where we will explore authentic leadership, transformational facilitation, and how to create epic experiences for your audiences every single time. I am your host, Marli Williams, bringing you thought provoking insights, expert interviews, and actionable strategies to unlock your potential as a leader, facilitator, and speaker. Thank you for joining me on this journey of growth, transformation, and impact. Let's Lead Together. The Marli Williams podcast begins now. Let's dive in.

Marli Williams [: 00:00:42

Hey, everybody. What is happening? I would love to welcome you back to the Marli Williams podcast where we get to geek out on all things transformational, leadership and facilitation, speaking, and, ultimately, how to make a powerful impact on the lives of the people that you lead, coach, mentor, and serve.

Marli Williams [: 00:01:07

And last week, we talked all about the mindset of leadership and how I think that that's one of the biggest game changers when it comes to really giving yourself permission to lead in every area of your life, whether that's with your family, whether that's with your team, in your business, and really unpacking this idea of having the mindset of what it means to be an epic leader, someone who chooses to make a positive difference in the world, a positive difference in other people's lives.

Marli Williams [: 00:01:41

And today, what I want to explore with you is the energy of leadership. And the reason I want to talk about this today is because, you know, out of all of the compliments that I ever get as a speaker, you know, when I get off stage and I give a big talk or a big presentation, or even after a coaching session, after a workshop, a mastermind is the number one thing that people always say is, I just love your energy. I love being around it. I love how I feel when I'm around you. And it's like, I want to take this energy with me out into the world. Like, how do I have the same energy you do? And or, you know, how do I cultivate this energy within me?

Marli Williams [: 00:02:30

So, I feel like it's a really powerful idea. It's a powerful topic. It's something that I think a lot about as far as what shows up when you show up. What shows up when you walk into the room that wasn't there before? This is the idea. Your energy leads before you even say a word. And there are people that make the energy in the room better, more positive, brighter, lighter, more expansive. You know, it's like if you can imagine I'm sure some of you know people like that. They walk into the room and you just like, wow. I want to be around them. And we all know the people at the other end of the spectrum, the negative Nellies of the world, where we feel nervous around them, we feel intimidated by them. Maybe they complain all the time. There's a lot of judgment. There's just a lot of negativity. Right? So, we can make an experience better, we can make it worse, or we can just keep with the status quo.

Marli Williams [: 00:03:40

And to me, leadership is about taking 100% responsibility for your energy, for the energy you bring into every room that you walk into, whether that's coming home at the end of the day, to your kids, to your family, whether that's walking into a meeting, walking into a conference room or a presentation, walking into a virtual space, and really thinking about what is the energy that I want to bring into this space. And that question of what shows up when you show up is a powerful question to ask yourself. And if you don't know the answer to that question, I really invite you to sit with that. And if you're brave and bold enough, ask the people around you.

Marli Williams [: 00:04:32

You know, is it love, curiosity, passion, enthusiasm, wisdom, knowledge, compassion, empathy. Like, is it positive, or do you bring stress, overwhelm, judgment, negativity, or do you just adapt to the energy in the room? And so often, so many places, spaces, workplaces are stressed out, burned out, overwhelmed. Right? And my question for you is, will you bring the weather? And bringing the weather is really about this idea of you choosing to set the energy and set the tone and set the temperature of the rooms that you walk into rather than just operating by default of this just is the way that it is. People are the way that they are. You know, there's been so many times I've walked into, you know, a conference or even a workshop where people kind of, they have to be there. And people have their arms crossed. They look skeptical. They're like, I don't know. Who is this person. Right? What do they have to say? Or maybe they're having a bad day or maybe they're struggling. I don't know.

Marli Williams [: 00:05:57

But my number one job when I walk into that room is choosing to bring the weather, bringing the level of energy, enthusiasm, passion that I want to envelop the space with ultimately and let them come along that journey with me. And that I'm really setting this container for excitement, enthusiasm, energy instead of just adapting to wherever they are at. And, you know, I talk a lot about the power of creating engaging interactive keynote experiences. Right? And one of the biggest factors and being able to deliver that well and deliver that effectively is creating the energy of engagement, meaning people will interact here. People will engage here, and it's my energy and my delivery of the instructions for some sort of interactive moment that impact whether people are going to roll their eyes or whether they're going to lean in and light up and say yes because you are calling them up and into this experience because you believe in it.

Marli Williams [: 00:07:24

I remember being at a big conference one time and this guy was on stage and he said, alright. Now we're going to do that thing that no one likes to do and you're going to turn to your neighbor and introduce yourself. And he kind of said it like, well, he's making an assumption that nobody likes to do that. Right? And so, he planted the seed to make it super awkward. And I see this happen a lot because people are so scared that they're not going to do it. They're not going to engage in the exercise or the activity, the thing that you're inviting them to do, and your energy and your delivery is essential in whether or not people are going to be excited about that opportunity or if they're going to kind of check out and roll their eyes. Right? I might say something like, raise your hand if you came here to meet someone new. Awesome. In a moment, I'm going to invite you to have an opportunity to meet someone that you haven't met yet. Right?

Marli Williams [: 00:08:26

Part of being an epic facilitator is to make it easier for people to do what you want them to do. Meaning, if you have a in person conference and people got on planes, trains, buses. They drove there. They left their friends, their family, their work to be in a physical space together. Right? And we oftentimes assume that just because people are in the same room, that automatically means that they're going to connect, and they don't. They're going to sit with who they came with. They might be uncomfortable.

Marli Williams [: 00:09:05

And as an epic facilitator, the idea, the invitation is to give them a reason to connect. They wouldn't be there otherwise. That's the number one reason people attend in person events is to meet other people that are in their same industry, in their same space, and to not feel alone. And we are wired for human connection, and yet on the internet, we have this illusion of connection. And your energy, your delivery when you invite them to connect with each other is the direct result of whether or not they do it ultimately. And so, you know, I might say something like I just said. Raise your hand if you came here to meet someone new. Great. I'm going to have you turn to your neighbor, share what inspired you to say yes to this experience. You get 1 minute per person. Person with the shortest hair goes first. On your marks, get set, and go. Right?

Marli Williams [: 00:10:05

I'm creating a powerful invitation with my enthusiasm, with my energy. And I also want to say, you don't need to do it just like me. You just need to find your own way to authentically bring the weather and choose and commit and decide of how do you want to impact the spaces and the places that you walk into. We can make someone's day or break someone's day, and it is up to us. And leadership truly is about taking that 100% responsibility for the energy that you bring into that room and thinking about what is the impact that I want to have on the people around me because it's not just what you do, and it's not just what you say, but it is how you make people feel just like that Maya Angelou quote. Right?

Marli Williams [: 00:11:04

People won't remember what you said or what you did, but they will never forget the way that you made them feel. And we do that when we show up with our hearts, when we bring the weather, when we are aware of the energy and the impact that we have on the people around us, the people that we want to serve. And when you think about that, what is the impact that you want to have on the people around you? Do you want to motivate them, inspire them, encourage them, empower them, motivate them, help them learn, help them grow, help them feel seen and heard. And when you think about that question, what is the impact that you want to have? Is the energy that you are bringing in alignment with that impact? And how often are you having that impact on the people around you. And in order to have the energy to be in alignment with the impact that you want to make is we have to show up for ourselves. We have to nourish ourselves and I know that we hear this all the time, like this idea of practicing self-care. And there's all sorts of workshops on this idea of time management. Right? But today, we're talking about energy, and I love this concept of energy management. Right?

Marli Williams [: 00:12:40

And energy management is ultimately the idea of, like, as you go throughout your day, there are going to be things that give you energy that would be like a plus. Right? Maybe you work out in the morning. Maybe you have some sort of morning practice. You meditate. Maybe you love having your morning coffee and that's a plus. You start your day like, how can you start your day off with a plus? Something that's going to give you energy. And we all have things throughout our day that would be a minus on the energy scale. Maybe that's checking emails or sales calls might be draining. They might be uplifting. Right? It's kind of up to you. Maybe there's chores that you have to do or tasks in your business that you don't love that would be a negative. And there are things that are just neutral. You just do them because it's just part of adulting. Right? Like, maybe taking a shower, like, that might be a neutral thing. So, we have positive, negative, and neutral things throughout our day.

Marli Williams [: 00:13:43

The idea of energy management is, you know, I think one of the reasons why people feel so overwhelmed and drained and strained at the end of the week is most people have days that would be a net negative. I'm just doing all these things that I have to do when I'm going through the motions, and I'm exhausted and I'm burned out and stressed and drained at the end of the day. Exhausted and overwhelmed. And in order for us to bring the weather, in order for us to take 100% responsibility for our energy, part of that is knowing what you need to fill you up, to nourish yourself. What are the things that give you energy? What are the things that drain your energy? And I would really encourage you to make a list. What are the things that fill you up? Right? Is it listening to music? Is it taking a walk? Is it spending time in nature? Is it dancing, exercise, moving your body? And then what are the things that deplete your energy that drain you and trying to, like, start looking at your day of like, wow, I'm doing a lot of things that drain me. Where can I build in these moments where I am intentionally nourishing myself, filling my cup up? And the other thing about that is so often we think that we need, like, an hour to go on some sort of, like, super long walk or an hour-long workout. You can do these things in 1 minute. You can have a 1 minute what I love to call one of my favorite energy hacks is what I like to call the emergency dance party, EDP for short.

Marli Williams [: 00:15:29

Sometimes, you're feeling low, you're feeling drained. It's that like my low energy time is like 2, 3 o'clock in the afternoon. It just dips. So, sometimes I really have to muster up my energy and that could look like a walk, but maybe I don't have time to go for a walk, play my favorite song, and have an emergency dance party, move my body, listen to some music, turn it up, and it can totally reset our nervous system, and give us that energy boost to get through the second half of the day, for example. Or, again, taking a 5-minute walk is better than no walk. And so many people are eating lunch at our desk. We're not moving our bodies. We're dehydrated. Even things like drinking water, making time to do things that you love, spending time with your friends or your family or your puppy dogs or your other animals, and in choosing to be intentional with that and starting to see that as that is an essential part of being an epic leader. It's not extra. It's not additional. It's not on the side. It's not if you have time. It's like in order for me to bring the weather, in order for me to be the epic, impactful leader that I want to be, I am willing to show up for me in service of the people that I want to serve.

Marli Williams [: 00:16:55

Our culture has this narrative that self-care is selfish, and I think that we're starting to rewire that script, and I really invite you to start seeing that as an essential part of being an impactful leader is really giving yourself permission to show up for you and to give yourself that time and that space to fill up your own cup so that you can give from a place of overflow of energy rather than feeling so energetically drained and depleted at the end of the day, at the end of the week because you've given so much, but you haven't given to you.

Marli Williams [: 00:17:40

And if you lead a team, this is a part of modeling that for other people. We can tell people all about work-life balance, but if you aren't doing it, they won't feel like they can. That means leaving work when you say you're going to leave work at 5 o'clock so that you can get home, and cook a nourishing meal. And one of the biggest energy drains I have found is in our language. Our language shapes our world. Sometimes this idea of self-care can feel like another should, another supposed to, another has to, like, I should work out, I'm supposed to work out, versus I get to move my body in a way that feels really good for me. I have to cook dinner versus I get to cook a nourishing meal that is going to fuel me for my day. Our language impacts our world, and it impacts our energy. And so, one of my invitations for you today is how can you turn your have to's into get to's? Have to is this word that can feel really exhausting, depleting, draining. Ugh. I have to send the emails, and I have to do this, and I have to pick up the kids and I have to make food and I'm exhausted just saying the word versus again, I get to connect with my audience in a meaningful way. I get to pick up my amazing kids from school. I get to take my dogs for a walk. I get to make a video that could impact people. I get to create this podcast. I don't have to create this podcast. I get to.

Marli Williams [: 00:19:31

What a privilege that is. And when we say I get to, that has such a different energy behind it. So, just noticing and being aware of the impact our language has on our energy. As adults, we get to make up the rules. And, yeah, there are things we “have to do as adults”, but my invitation is how can you shift those have to's into get to's? Again, as we really look at this idea of the energy of leadership, it's looking at all of the things that impact your energy. The things that drain you, the things that deplete you, the things that nourish you, the things that fill you up, the words that we speak, the people that we surround ourselves with. Right? There are people that build you up, that lift you up, that feel good to be around, that are energizing. They're nourishing, and there are other people that suck the life out of you. Who are you spending time with? And, again, are you taking responsibility for that? And, yes, there are people in our life. Maybe your kids do both. Right? There might be moments that they fill you up with so much joy, and there are moments that they probably drive you nuts. Right?

Marli Williams [: 00:21:00

But for you to look at all of these elements and all of these areas of your life and really thinking about where can I take that responsibility like, take my power back around my own energy so that I have the energy to give to the people that I lead, the movements that I'm creating, the message that I want to share, the talks I want to give, the retreats I want to lead, the workshops, the group coaching containers and programs that I create for you to bring your all. For you to bring your full self to the table with love, with abundance, with joy, with overflow, because that is all about being a powerful leader. It's really about who you are being in the world, not just what you do and not just what you say, but it is how you make people feel when they're around you.

Marli Williams [: 00:22:05

And coming back to this idea of really understanding like what is the impact that I want to have on those that I serve. And when we come back around to this, one of my favorite mantras is, my desire to be of service is greater than my fear. It's greater than my excuses, greater than my stories, it's greater than my doubt. And so, one of the things that gives me an energy boost is really committing to coming from a place of service.

Marli Williams [: 00:22:40

And when I get low, when I get stuck, when I get overwhelmed, when I get stressed out, one of my favorite things to ask is, who can I serve today and how can I serve today? And when we come from that place, you can send one message to somebody to make their day, a text message, a voice message, a video. It's who can I serve today and how can I serve today? Because, again, sometimes we wait for these grandiose moments to get on stage to be of service, and we can choose to show up in service every single day. And when I feel drained and depleted, oftentimes, it means I am not serving people or I'm not in the energy of service. You know, I'm getting the energy of stress and overwhelm and exhaustion and depletion. And when I take deep breath and I slow down and I show up and I serve, it is one of the most energizing things for me that I could possibly do.

Marli Williams [: 00:23:46

So, your fun work for this week is to make a list of all the things that nourish you, that fill you up. What are the pluses in your day? And then on the other side of the piece of paper, you can use a piece of paper to do this, what are the things that drain you and deplete you? And when you look at the things that drain you and deplete you, are there any of those things that you can turn from a have to into a get to, and when you look at that list of things that nourish you, that fill you up, that lift you up. Can you add more of those into your days and into your weeks so that we can keep the tank full and not just wait until we're totally exhausted to go take a vacation or to have a self-care day.

Marli Williams [: 00:24:32

It's like, how can we build that in to every day, every week, every month, and knowing what you need in order to show up and play full out. And to me, that's really about sustainable leadership is when we are our own natural resource, and we have to give to ourselves so that we can give to others. So, if this resonated with you, I would love to hear your thoughts, reflections, comments, and feel free to share this, like it, love it, review it, rate it, spread the word, spread the love. I am just so grateful and so honored to be on this journey with you, And I hope that this idea of the energy of leadership spoke to you, and I'd love to hear your thoughts. So, can't wait to see you again here next week. Thanks again for tuning in to the Marli Williams podcast, and we will see you next time. Take care.

Marli Williams [: 00:25:33

Thank you for joining us on another inspiring episode of the Marli Williams podcast. We hope you're leaving here with renewed energy and valuable insights to fuel your leadership, coaching, and speaking endeavors. I'd love to invite you to subscribe, rate, and review this podcast to help us reach more aspiring leaders and speakers like you. We have more exciting episodes, and remarkable guests lined up, so make sure to tune in next time. Until then, keep leading with purpose, coaching with heart and speaking with conviction. This is Marli Williams signing off. See you next week.