The #1 Thing That Changes the Game: Mindset of EPIC Leadership -02

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Marli Williams [: 00:00:00

Hey, everyone. What's happening? I am super stoked to welcome you to the Marli Williams podcast where we will explore authentic leadership, transformational facilitation, and how to create epic experiences for your audiences every single time. I am your host, Marli Williams, bringing you thought-provoking insights, expert interviews, and actionable strategies to unlock your potential as a leader, facilitator, and speaker. Thank you for joining me on this journey of growth, transformation, and impact. Let’s Lead Together. The Marli Williams podcast begins now. Let's dive in.

Marli Williams [: 00:00:43

Hey, everyone, and welcome back to the Marli Williams podcast. I am super stoked to have you joining us today for an epic conversation around the mindset of leadership. I really want to unpack, you know, what does it mean to be an epic leader? What does it mean to really claim that role, that title, that idea, and that knowing that leadership isn't, you know, a title that someone else gives you? It's something that you choose for you.

Marli Williams [: 00:01:14

One of the definitions that I love to me what it means to be an epic leader is someone who sees an opportunity for something to be better and who chooses to do something about it. And I think that for me, as an entrepreneur, that's where entrepreneurship started. It was like, I wanted to create an adult summer camp for women. I didn't see one out there. I didn't see something like that existing. I knew that there were retreats, but I wanted to create something different. And so, it was like, oh, I had this vision. I had this idea, and a lot of people have ideas. I have hundreds of ideas a day. But to me, leadership is about doing something with it. And here's what I know to be true, is that 80% of the game of leadership is all about mindset. And mindset, like, the core of it, is really cultivating this deep sense of worthiness and belief in yourself. You know, as I look back on my journey and the story that I shared last week on the podcast, it's like, you know, what does it look like? What does it mean for me to go all in on my vision? To go all in on being of service?

Marli Williams [: 00:02:37

One of my greatest mantras for myself before I'm about to get on stage, give a talk, do a workshop. So, I put my hand on my heart and I say, my only job here is to show up and serve. Show up and serve. Show up and serve. And what that helps me do is it gets me in the mindset of service. The mindset of service. Right? Like, that my mission is to make a difference in these people's lives versus where a lot of people get stuck in leadership or caught up is in 2 things, looking good and getting it right. Right? We want to look good. We don't want to mess up. We don't want to fall down. We don't want to fail. We don't want to disappoint people. This idea of, like, getting it right. Again, we want to give, like, the best talk ever. And your first talk is never going to be your best talk ever. It might be the best talk you could give right now. But if we let go of looking good and getting it right and we stop and we pause and we just really commit to showing up and serving people, that is leadership. And I think that sometimes we also wait for these, like, grandiose moments to make a difference. To make an impact.

Marli Williams [: 00:03:59

We wait until the big stages. And it's like, if you want to show up and serve, we have so many tools at our fingertips to be able to do that right now, getting on your phone and recording a video, posting it on YouTube, posting it on Instagram, doing a Facebook live. Like, there is someone out there that you can help right now. And to me, that is leadership. Leadership is about choosing to help the people you can right now versus waiting for perfection, waiting to have it all figured out. Waiting to have the perfect message, the perfect program, the perfect retreat, the perfect talk, the perfect idea. And then I will show up and serve versus choosing and committing to have enough courage to serve right now. And that is what builds the muscle of confidence and ultimately learning to trust yourself. To trust your heart, to trust your voice, to trust your vision of what it is that you want to do in the world, the difference that you want to make, and it's not about waiting again for the perfect moment to have it all figured out. Trust me. No one has it figured out. Even the people that you idolize, you admire, you look up to, they're just winging it too. They're just human like you, and yet they've chosen to do something instead of wait for something.

Marli Williams [: 00:05:39

I have lots of quotes, lots of mantras. Many of you know that I have a card deck called Stoke Quotes. One of my favorite quotes is, imperfect action is always better than perfect in action. Right? This idea of, like, I'm going to perfectly not do anything because guess what? We don't get to fail. We don't have to fail. We don't have to look bad or mess up or make a mistake. And this idea of taking imperfect and inspired action in service of yourself, in service of your vision, in service of your dreams. You know, when I think about when I first started as a coach and a speaker and an entrepreneur, it's like, oh, I'd never given a talk before. I'd never given a paid talk before. I'd never had a paid coaching client before. And the thing is everyone has to start somewhere, and we have to start with what we have with where we are.

Marli Williams [: 00:06:36

But, ultimately, it's like, I had to believe enough in me. To invest in myself, to find mentors, to find programs, to help me essentially believe in myself, what I was offering the world, and I had never sold a thing in my life. And I wasn't just selling, like, a widget or a vacuum cleaner or a TV. It was like, I was selling me. I was selling my time, my energy, my knowledge, my wisdom, my expertise. And one of the things that I like to help people in my workshops and events is like no one is going to knight you as an expert. No. No one's going to come knocking at your door and officially give you a certificate that says you are now deemed an epic leader. You know, I'm deeming you an epic leader right now if you're listening through this podcast. Leadership is a choice that you get to make every single day.

Marli Williams [: 00:07:34

And James Clear wrote this amazing book called Atomic Habits. And he talks about this idea of the power of our identity as it relates to changing our habits. And he has this quote in there, and it's the version of we can't do who we aren't. Meaning, if you don't see yourself or identify as a leader, it’s hard to take action as a leader. What? Right? And so, it's starting to build this capacity in yourself. And there's another book that I love called, Be Your Future Self Now. It's choosing. It's claiming this identity.

Marli Williams [: 00:08:23

Like, I am an epic leader. I am someone who cares about the people that I serve. I am someone who makes a difference in the world. I am someone who has a message to share. I am someone who. I am are 2 of the most powerful words in the English language. One of my questions for you is, are you walking around saying, I am not enough? What if nobody, you know, signs up? I don't have it all figured out yet. I need one more course, one more training, one more certification, and then people will want to work with me versus, like, really claiming this identity that you know enough and you have enough right now just as you are.

Marli Williams [: 00:09:09

And I'm not saying that that's easy, but I am saying I want to give you permission that it gets to be a decision. It gets to be a choice to say, I have something that can help other people, and I'm going to do something about that instead of letting ourselves off the hook. And I've worked with a lot of coaches over the years. I've done a lot of courses, a lot of training, a lot of programs. And I would often time in my life and in my journey get caught up in this story. And maybe you can relate to this is like, well, I don't know. I don't really know what I want my retreat to be about. I don't really know what I want to speak about. I don't really know who's going to sign up. I don't know who my ideal audience is, all these things, right, that they ask you. And I had a coach one time say, what do you get out of I don't know? The story that you don't know. Because we get something out of every story that we tell ourselves. Otherwise, we wouldn't be telling it to ourselves. So, I sat with that question, and I said to her, I get to not fail. I don't know was a protection from actually making a decision, actually making a commitment, actually creating an event or a workshop and putting it out there. And I don't know how if I shared this on the first podcast.

Marli Williams [: 00:10:41

But one of my mantras, I have lots of them, is like, even my worst workshop could change someone's life. Even my worst talk could change someone's life. And my hope is that it's not bad to the audience. It might not be my best. Right? And if you are a recovering perfectionist, it's like, we want it to be the best. We want to look good. We want to get it right, you know because we care because we want to make a difference. And this, like, I don't know story, it's like, I work with so many people who are like, I want to lead a retreat, but I don't know what it's going to be about.

Marli Williams [: 00:11:14

And it's like if you really ask yourself, I would say the antidote to I call it I don't know land is if you did know. There is a part of you that knows your message, your calling, and that knowing is often a whisper. It's a whisper of what's possible. It's an inner knowing, and it's like, how can you give that whisper a megaphone and really hear it, really listen to it? It can be hard to hear the whisper when there's so much noise in our head, all the shoulds and supposed to's and have to's. I have to do this first before I do that. Versus, like, you just get to choose right now how you want to show up, how you want to serve. And your message, your movement, your vision will evolve, and it will only evolve to the level of you being willing to take action. And this idea of aligning your mindset with bold inspired action.

Marli Williams [: 00:12:26

When you have this mindset of, I am an epic leader who has a message to share with the world, my bold inspired action is I'm actually going to send that email asking to speak at that event or putting that out there to my network. Like, hey, everybody. I have this talk, and it's about the energy of leadership. And I want to book 10 speaking engagements in the next 10 months. Right? Because you have identified, I am an epic leader and a powerful speaker who has a message to share with the world. So, you are going to take action from that place. Right? And so, doing this mindset work has been such a game changer for me on my journey and really understanding where the places that essentially, I let myself off the hook. I don't know land is one of them.

Marli Williams [: 00:13:19

Another land that I've played a lot in, spend a lot of time in is I'm not enough land. Not sure if you can relate to that one. I'm not good enough, smart enough, strong enough, brilliant enough, talented enough, and that is another place where we can let ourselves off the hook. Because if I'm not enough, it lets me off the hook of doing anything, of taking risks, of putting yourself out there. And the only way to get better at speaking, at leading, is by actually being in the arena. And I think that when we start to identify what are the stories that keep us stuck, what are the narratives, where are the places that hold us back, that keep us playing small and we are able to notice them, identify them, then they don't have as much of a grip on us. Because when I noticed these stories, I'm not enough, I don't know, what if I fail. What if I fall down? What if I look dumb? All of these are just stories.

Marli Williams [: 00:14:27

They're not actually the truth. And I can look at that belief and say, thank you for sharing. Because here's the thing. All of those things, all of those stories, they’re just trying to protect you. Our brains are ultimately wired for safety and survival, not possibility and performance. Our brains are wired to keep us safe. And leadership isn't safe. Getting on stage doesn't feel safe.

Marli Williams [: 00:15:04

Public speaking was one of people's biggest fears. So, our brain is just trying to protect us. So, it's really important as we recognize these stories to have so much compassion and love for ourselves rather than, like, giving ourselves one more thing to judge ourselves about. But the ways in which I work with those stories that don't serve is thanks for sharing. I have more important work to do. Right? I'm not willing to let that story run the show. Thanks for sharing. I got this.

Marli Williams [: 00:15:42

And we start to really cultivate this belief in ourselves that, like, I'm going to be okay no matter what. And instead of outsourcing our sense of safety and security and belonging to other people, we get to create that within. We get to generate that safety that's like, I am strong, I am solid, and I'm willing to put myself out there, see these opportunities to make a difference and do something about it imperfectly, knowing that there is always someone right now in this moment that you can help and you get to choose leadership every day. You get to choose to show up and serve. And so, my invitation for you this week is for you to create your epic leader manifesto. And it can be a series of anywhere from 3 to 5 I am statements that are this, like, declaration to who you are as a leader. It's your stand for yourself, for your vision, for your mission, for the people that you are here to serve. There are stories in our life and our mind that can stop us, and there are stories that to serve us.

Marli Williams [: 00:16:59

So, we need to have these stories and cultivate this new identity to really anchor that in. And creating this epic leader manifesto is one way for you to be able to do that, and it could be something that you can write in 5 minutes. Set a timer for 5 minutes and write as many I am statements that feel good, that feel empowering, that feel inspiring to you as a leader. Choose the top 3 to 5, put them on a post-it notes, put them on your mirror, read them every day. We get to rewire our stories and really cultivate our mindset as a leader. And I hope that that serves you. I'd love for you to share that with me in the comments, in any of the reviews. And if you enjoyed this podcast, I would love for you to share it with a friend, rate, review, subscribe to wherever you listen to podcasts, and I am just so honored, so grateful that you have joined us for another episode of the Marli Williams podcast. Here's to you and your epic leadership. Let's Lead Together, signing off for now. See you next week. Peace.

Marli Williams [: 00:18:17

Thank you for joining us on another inspiring episode of the Marli Williams podcast. We hope you're leaving here with renewed energy and valuable insights to fuel your leadership, coaching, and speaking endeavors. I'd love to invite you to subscribe, rate, and review this podcast to help us reach more aspiring leaders and speakers like you. We have more exciting episodes and remarkable guests lined up, so make sure to tune in next time. Until then, keep leading with purpose, coaching with heart, and speaking with conviction. This is Marli Williams, signing off. See you next week.