Navigating the Unknown: Small Steps Toward Big Results -60

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Marli Williams [: 00:00:00

Hey, everybody, hat is happening? I am stoked to welcome you back to the podcast where this week we are diving into this conversation around how to make subtle shifts in your life to create more ease and more alignment on your path of growth and expansion. I think so often we live in this society, in this culture that's all about the outcome and the result and the goal setting. And usually, you know, we reach that milestone or that goal and then we say, well, now what? And this conversation is really about how much can we embrace the uncertainty and step into the unknown and create safety and security and certainty within ourselves, not in something that is outside of ourselves. So my conversation this week with Jennifer Delliquadri, who is a phenomenal podcast host, coach and mentor for women in transition, is such a rich and juicy conversation about how we can evolve into the next best version of ourselves. So I cannot wait to dive into this powerful conversation with you this week. Let's do this. Hey everyone, what's happening? I am super stoked to welcome you to the Marli Williams Podcast where we will explore authentic leadership, transformational facilitation, and how to create epic experiences for your audiences every single time. I am your host, Marli Williams, bringing you thought provoking insights, expert interviews and actionable strategies to unlock your potential as a leader, facilitator and speaker.

Marli Williams [: 00:01:49

Thank you for joining me on this journey of growth, transformation and impact. Let's lead together. The Marli Williams Podcast begins now. Let's dive in. For today we're hanging out with my new friend Jennifer Delliquadri, who is up to the north of me up in Vancouver. We met in real life at the Energy Exchange Experience. She's a podcast host, coach, mentor, soon to be author with a new book coming out. And Jennifer, I'm just stoked to have you on the podcast today.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:02:26

I'm so happy to be here. I always feel like you meet the right people at the right time when you're ready in your life. And when I met you, I was like, oh, that's somebody that I'm meant to know. So it's really a pleasure to be here on your podcast.

Marli Williams [: 00:02:38

Thank you so much for that. You know, I one that's one of the things I say at the energy exchange is like, there is someone in this room that might change your life and it might be the person sitting next to you, across from you. Right. But it's like there are those moments where we're in, you know, we go to networking events or we go to conferences or workshops and I always love that idea of like, notice who you notice, pay attention to who and what captures your attention. And, like, follow that. We all have that, that knowing of, like, being. Being drawn to somebody. I am stoked that you're here.

Marli Williams [: 00:03:13

I'm stoked that we're connecting today. And I would love for you to just take a moment as we begin our conversation to just share a little bit about who you are, your work in the world that you do, and kind of a little bit of your journey. As much as you want to share, that kind of, like, brought you to helping women make these subtle shifts in their life that make a big difference.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:03:35

Yeah. So who I am in this world? Well, in my, I like to say, former life, as I've evolved throughout the years, I was a public school educator, a teacher in the classroom for about 14 years, and there was a moment around 2017 where I felt like I had outgrown that profession, still loved it, loved teaching. Like, I am here to be a teacher, but I was feeling like I needed to evolve out of that. The same time, a lot of things happened in my personal life as a mom, my older daughter really started struggling with mental health, and a lot of really big challenges happen. And I was kind of left feeling like I was floating around, like, what's my purpose? Wondering, what's next for me? What's my calling? And I was kind of just started on a journey of, like, what's next for me? So from there, I kept getting this inner urge to become an entrepreneur. I'd never even considered it up until that point. I didn't know much about business, having been a teacher my whole life.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:04:39

And so I kind of went on this journey of learning and experiencing, experimenting with life and meeting people along the way. I went back to the classroom, and, you know, I thought it was like my safe, kind of safe area was calling back to me. Like, it's secure, it's safe. And the moment I was there in the classroom, in this amazing school, this amazing district, with wonderful colleagues, the first day there, I was like, this was a mistake. I went back to the known because I didn't think I could make it in this unknown. And from there, the decision was made. I'm like, okay, I'm going to give myself this. I'm not going to leave.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:05:15

Obviously, I will fill my contract, but I'm going to allow myself to really dig into what's next for me and learn and grow. And I hired a coach. That way, and I also got a therapist. So I started working on, like, healing the past, but also setting Goals and figuring out what's next for the future. All things converged, ultimately leading me to decide that I wanted to go to do training, to become a coach myself, because I was like, wow, I really like what this person is doing. She's helped me so much. I want to be able to do this. And, yeah, that was like, a big, pivotal moment in my life.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:05:50

So to describe what I do, I am a coach. I like to imagine. I got this idea from you at the Energy Exchange when we were talking about describing who you are and having a title. My title that I like to refer to myself as is a Dream Advocate. Advocate for your dreams. Right? We all have dreams and big things that we want to achieve in our lives. And I help my clients cultivate the belief in themselves so that they can make their dreams happen.

Marli Williams [: 00:06:23

So good. I love that. A dream advocate, right? It's like, how much are we advocating on behalf of ourself, our dreams, our vision, what we want to create? Right. Are we an ally to that, an advocate for that? I love that. That imagery that comes to mind and, like, helping people, like, really tap into that and tune into that. And again, you know, it's like, we have that. That similar background in education, and it was like, you know, I had never sold a thing in my life, let alone, like, you know, coaching services, like, someone paying me for, like, my time, my energy, my questions, like my ability, hold that space of possibility, right? And I think that that's what we do is, like, help people kind of get unstuck and see a new path, a new vision for themselves and what's possible in their life and to, like, advocate on behalf of that and help them really cultivate, like you said, that deep belief in themselves. Like, at the end of the day, it's like, I help people believe in themselves and, like, what it is that they want to do and create and be in this world.

Marli Williams [: 00:07:28

So I love that.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:07:30

And I was also a cheerleader in high school, so, I mean, I'm a cheerleader still. That does not leave me. I will be cheerful.

Marli Williams [: 00:07:38

Yes. It's part of who you are. Yes, but it's like, you know, it's like, again, our constellation of experiences and backgrounds and everything that we bring to the table to make, you know, the work that you do, you know, you do it in your own unique way because of your background as a teacher and a cheerleader and a mom and, like, all of these things where it's like, okay, and then that's like, I think so important to realize we all can, like bring those gifts to the conversation and to the table.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:08:05

Yes. And really the whole thing, my personal experience in what really inspires me to be a dream advocate is that when someone makes a decision to do something that is a little bit scary and a little bit uncertain, like when I decided to leave the classroom and leave that steady, stable job to be an entrepreneur, something that I had never done before, it required me to change my identity from being like, this is who I am, to a completely different version of myself. And all of the limiting beliefs and assumptions that come up with that, like the self doubt and I'm not cut out for this. Like, it brought it all to the surface. And I was like, I was so confident before, but it's because I was confident in the identity that I had been in for so long. So the moment I was in this new identity, all those doubts and fears came up. And doing the work to challenge those self doubts and to really do the things scared and even though there's no guarantee is what really inspires me to help others do the same. Because once I could do it in my business, I mean, really, it transfers to every area of my life.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:09:15

It's not just I feel more confident as an entrepreneur now, I feel more confident as a human.

Marli Williams [: 00:09:20

It's like we realize like how freaking powerful and capable and strong that we really are when we, we shift from kind of the known, the familiar. It's like, I know how to be a teacher. I know how to do this way of living my life, and I've never done this new thing before. And I think a lot of people get stuck because of the fear of they stay in that familiar because it's what we know. But to take that leap into the unknown, like, I think it's. I mean, I did the same thing when I left my full time, steady, seeable job was like one of my favorite questions to ask people is how do I make success inevitable? And what are the. Who are the people? What are the tools? What are the resources that I need? And one thing that I know about myself is like, I had again, I had never sold a thing in my life. So I joined like a coaching sales mastermind.

Marli Williams [: 00:10:14

And it was all about like how to sell coaching essentially. And it was like really not feeling like you have to like do it all alone either. And like the power of mentorship and the power of coaching and like, I love quotes, so we'll throw a lot in here. But it's like I always like to say success leaves clues and there's people out there that are successful. Like whether it's if you want to be a coach, a speaker, an entrepreneur, it's like there are pathways and there are, you know, people that have gone before you and it's so important to like learn from them and find your own way through that. Like, because I think a lot of people are like, make six figures in six days using my thumb formula, jiggy, jiggy thing, you know, and it's like really? It's like, how can I both learn from people and get inspired by them and also like stay true to myself and find my own way of selling, my own way of coaching, my own way of marketing, whatever it is. And like take the things that you know, work, but not everything that works for everyone else might work for you. But you know, taking those pieces.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:11:21

Like that's what you do when you're switching your path or exploring a new career or way of being is you look to other people who are doing it and who you see have been successful. And the first steps that a lot of people take is like, I'm just going to do exactly what they do and then I will be successful. But that doesn't happen. And then they're left wondering like, well, gosh, I guess what did I do wrong?

Marli Williams [: 00:11:48

For this? Or what did I do wrong? Right?

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:11:50

Yeah. And it really hits on that self doubt. And when you have self doubt, the results are going to feed into the self doubt and it's a cycle. Whereas really instead of following someone step by step, you need to cultivate the self belief to make it work for you.

Marli Williams [: 00:12:06

I am super stoked to like dive deeper into this and really talking about the idea of evolving through our life. Right. And like the, the power of having big dreams and having big goals and also how do we, you know, there's no there that we're trying to get to, right? This elusive, like when I achieve X, Y, Z, then I'll be happy, then I'll feel successful. And I know that you work with women. Your book is called Subtle Shifts. You've made subtle shifts in your life, in your business. You've made really big shifts in your life and in your business. And so, you know, and through all of that we're just evolving into the next kind of like iteration and version of ourselves.

Marli Williams [: 00:12:48

And how can we move through those shifts in our life with more ease, more flow, more grace, more love for ourselves? Because I think we can, you know, as they say, should all over ourselves of like, I should be further along in my life, in my relationship in my career, in my. Whatever it is. And so we create these goals from, like, I'm not where I want to be, and if I were there, then I would feel X, Y, and Z. And so I'm excited to dive into this piece more with you. And you said something that's also really resonating for me is. Is shifting our identity. And at the root of it, like, at the core of, like, who do we believe that we are, and what do we believe about ourselves and what we're capable of and how that is such a key piece of that evolution. There's a term in marketing that they call an egoic label.

Marli Williams [: 00:13:42

An egoic label is, like, my partner, she's a nurse at the VA, and there is, like, you say, like, you know, this program is for nurses at the VA or something, and they're like, that's for me. And it's usually an identity that, like, they feel. You feel a sense of pride. Right? Like, I'm a mom or, you know, like, I'm a girl, dad or whatever. You know, it's like these egoic labels, and it's this, like, this identity of, oh, I'm a teacher, and there's a certain value that you got in the world by being a teacher or, like, you know. Yeah, like, I was a. I was an educator.

Marli Williams [: 00:14:18

I was, you know, I'm a professor. I'm this. And so it's like, when we shift into, like, well, I'm an entrepreneur. But then you're like, I've never done this before. And we're shifting, like, from one identity. We're evolving our identity and how we make those. The subtle shifts, the big shifts,

Marli Williams [: 00:14:37

And maybe share a little bit about your evolution and your journey over the past, like, few years. Because, again, it's, like, been. You've done a lot.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:14:45

I am. I have. So back at that same period of time when I made that decision to be an entrepreneur, a lot of different shifts in my life kind of converged through where I was certain in my mind and in my body and soul, where I wanted to go. And it was all based upon a way I wanted to feel in my life. So I spent a lot of time really just sitting and visualizing what life would feel like and look like when I had achieved what I wanted to achieve. And then from that, things kind of started to fall into place to the point of I signed up for the coach certification, but at the same time, something my family had been talking about for a long time. Was moving to the Pacific Northwest. I was in San Diego at the time.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:15:37

And the idea came up, you know, from time to time we'd talk about it and talk about how fun we'd been it up here before. But there we have a large family. There were about 17 of us and we knew. And it's not just my family, it's my family of four, plus, like my parents and my sister and my cousins and all of us. And there a plot of land became available and we made the decision right then and there, we're all going to do it or no one's going to do it. And we all were in. So within the span of finding that plot of land and moving and then living in the Pacific Northwest was probably a couple of months, maybe three months. I left my job, we sold our house that we'd live in for 16 years, and we all got in our cars and drove a thousand miles to our new home in Pacific Northwest.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:16:23

So I literally left my old identity behind, not meaning that I'm not who I was before, but in order to step into the next evolution of where my life was going, it required a lot of courage to do something a little bit scary. And it was a lot of it scary because I was leaving everything I had known for so long. And then fast forward, I got it all. I got the feeling, I got the home I wanted. I had everything that I envisioned.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:16:55

And I sat there and I thought, okay, well, now what? Right? Like, I have achieved every single goal. I built my business to a 100k. I have these clients. I love what I do. I live in this beautiful house. I live in the Pacific Northwest. I'm close with my family. I have that feeling and that sense of pride.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:17:15

But I was still kind of left, like, well, I've achieved all of these goals. And so is this it? Is this really it? Like, so there's been a lot of inner work and work that's happened since then. And that's why I call it an evolution versus, like a working toward an end goal. Like, you want this, okay, Work hard and get that. But when you're thinking about an evolution, I like to think of it as a helix in life. So you're evolving in a circular motion upward to where you're revisiting the same things, the challenges, over and over and over. But you're a different person by that level because you've had more experiences under your belt. So you're evolving on the inside and on the outside over time.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:17:58

And there is no end goal. The goal is to continue to evolve and be curious about what's next and be open and learn and grow along the way.

Marli Williams [: 00:18:11

It's so good. You know, we were chatting before and everything that you're saying reminds me of my favorite quote of all time when it comes to goal setting, which says, the purpose of a goal isn't to achieve it. The purpose of a goal is to figure out who you are along the way. Achieving it is the icing on the cake. And this world that we live in, in this society, it's so based on, like, the end goal and the outcome, like, of achieving the goal, right? Like getting the college degree and getting that, like that certificate or that stamp of, you know, it's like always. And it's like our happiness is always on the other side of success. And we're so focused on getting to that goal that I think that we forget this piece of who do I get to become along the way? Every step along the way of saying yes to this, like, adventure, of moving from San Diego up to the Pacific Northwest and, like, really like, saying yes to, like, this new life with your family in this way. And, you know, whether it's like, you know, I was giving examples, like, whether it's like giving a TED Talk or writing a book or starting a business, you know, like, they say that being an entrepreneur is like the biggest personal growth journey that you will ever go on, right? So it's like, yes, I want to hit 100k, but it's like, who you had to become, who you got to become along that journey is like believing in yourself, believing in your value, believing in your worth, helping clients, win, succeed.

Marli Williams [: 00:19:38

It's like learning and growing. How can I do my craft even better, right? Who do I get to become on this journey of being a keynote speaker is like harnessing and honing my message, my delivery. Building a business that I love, building a life that I love, and really like, staying in alignment with my, like, what's my true mission here and my jam. And I'm still trying to figure out my message. I'm still trying to figure out my keynotes. Like, there is no end goal. I'm in a speaking mastermind.

Marli Williams [: 00:20:09

There's people that have had businesses for 20 years and they've recreated their website and their mission and their brand and their ideas over and over from a place of, like, what's in alignment with me now? Because we change, we shift, we grow, we evolve. And like, that. That's the goal. The goal is evolution. It's expansion. It's like, you know, I just feel this, like, you know, being uninhibited. And you said something, too. When you think about the goal or you think about how.

Marli Williams [: 00:20:41

How do you feel on the other side of that, you know, with the goal being, like, moving to the Pacific Northwest with your family, what comes to mind. Like, what were the. Like, how did you hope that that experience would feel? Like, okay, so we do this. We buy the land, we build the houses, we do the thing. Like, for what? I mean, how did you want to feel and how does it feel? I'm just curious. Like, the before and after.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:21:09

Okay, so back then, the goal for me, the feeling was contentment, which is pretty much opposite of the feeling that it felt like when I was going through it, it felt like I was on a roller coaster. But, like, in a good way, it lit me up. It was living the adventure of life. Right? Like, that is the goal is to dive in and play the game. And by making that scary choice and moving in, quitting my career and moving into the unknown and starting a business, I'm playing the game of life.

Marli Williams [: 00:21:48

I love the metaphor, you know, daring greatly. Brene Brown, like, the book of, like, are you in the arena of your life, or are we sitting on the sidelines just, like, hoping and wishing and praying? Like, I hope everything, like, works out. And I think sometimes we climb the ladder, we go through the motions, we check off all the boxes, we did all the things that we kind of society told us or our parents or, you know, that this is what it means a successful good life is or looks like, you know, versus really, like, getting clear on what that looks like for you and knowing that, like, saying yes to yourself, you know, run running camp. Yes. And helping empower women. Like, say yes to your big, crazy dreams. It sounds simple, but it is, I think, the heart. One of the hardest things that we can do sometimes is, for me, like, being a recovering people pleaser and being focused on, like, yeah, what does everyone else want and need?

Marli Williams [: 00:22:46

But, like, not actually asking myself, like, well, what do I want? What do I need? What does a successful life look like and sound like to me? What is the thing that you want to say yes to? And actually getting clear on that. Sitting with yourself long enough to, yeah, like, ask yourself those big questions. What do I want my life to look like? Sometimes it's not just, oh, I want to, like, buy the big house or the boat or travel. It's like, how do I want to feel in my life? Danielle Laporte with the desire map that was her whole thing of, like, flipping goals on their head, of saying, it's not about the goal, it's about how you actually want to feel. Like, oh, I want to be in a relationship. Well, the feeling is I want to feel loved, and I want to feel connected, and I want to feel seen, you know, or if the goal is to travel, it's like, oh, I want to feel adventurous or free or. And how can.

Marli Williams [: 00:23:39

Like, the question was, like, how do you want to feel? And how can you create a life where you feel that way more often than not?

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:23:44

Yes, that's it. Anytime that I've felt stuck in my life, it's when I have cultivated too much comfort in the known. Right? That's when I was a teacher. There was a lot of comfort in the known, But I was also kind of bored. I was like, you know, this isn't exciting for me anymore because I could do this with. With, you know, asleep. Right? Like, this is easy for me. And I used to think it was a problem that I was constantly wanting to try new things in my life.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:24:16

I thought, you know, gosh, there's something wrong with me, that I always want something new and different. But the novelty of life, the novelty of experiences is what lights me up. And when I'm lit up, everything in my life feels better.

Marli Williams [: 00:24:31

Totally. And like you said, as you were going through that journey, it felt a little bit like a roller coaster. But you said I felt alive. You know, this. This, like. This energy, this vitality of, like, we get complacent, we feel stuck, and, like, yeah, life starts to feel like kind of the routine, and it feels a little bit boring. And.

Marli Williams [: 00:24:52

And, you know, I'm similar because I'm like, well, the minute I create, like, a keynote that's decent, I'm like, what's the next one? You know, it's like this. This kind of desire to keep creating and iterating and evolving. But it's also like your zone of genius, you know, it's like, it's also part of what makes you who you are. And I have a philosophy that, like, it's just a giant experiment. And sometimes we are so hard on ourselves and we take ourselves so seriously that we don't let ourselves try or give it a go or, like, test things out of, like, do I like this? I don't know. Let me find out. Instead of like, well, I've never done that before, which means I can't do it. It's like, I've never done that before.

Marli Williams [: 00:25:35

How can I Learn and, like, figure it out, right? And, like, cultivating that trust in yourself.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:25:42

Right? You'll never know how to do it until you do it. And it's scary to do it when you've never done it. But, Gary, that is such a limiting factor for so many people. Like, I'm afraid I'm afraid somebody's going to judge me. I'm afraid I'm going to fail. I'm afraid I'm going to look silly. I'm afraid I'm going to not know what I'm doing or look, you know, dumb. Like, there's so many of those fears that hold us back.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:26:05

And I'm speaking from personal experience. And when you have. When the fear holds you back, that's when you get stuck in complacency and you feel stuck. But really the thing that you're stuck behind is that wall of fear and just generating enough courage, the more you step out of the comfort zone, the less scary it is to do so.

Marli Williams [: 00:26:24

And I think a lot of people get stuck behind that. Like, yeah, the fear of judgment from other people, the fear of failure, and all of that stuff. So when you work with people that are wanting to make, you know, subtle shifts, big shifts in their life, and they're kind of up against that wall of fear, how do you help them move through that? Right? Like, if someone's listening to the podcast, they're. They're wanting to create the kind of step from the known to the unknown. Maybe you can help us, like, walk. Take us through your methodology and help. Help kind of walk us through that journey that you take people on.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:26:57

So I've been coaching for a while now, and I am an expert at reading through the words that are being said to the deeper challenge. So, for example, I was just recently coaching someone who's starting a business, and she was talking about how she needed to perfect her product and deliver it to herself and try it on and, you know, do the website and do all these things and. And she's like, and then I start it and then I, you know, it. I hit a roadblock, and then I just put it down and I forget about it and I walk away. I want to be able to follow through, right? And so she thought it was because she couldn't figure things out, and it got too hard and she backed off. But when I can read right through the lines and I let her figure it out on her own, that's another thing, is I won't tell you. I will guide you to be able to realize it yourself. In a very gentle, loving way.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:27:50

But the truth is, and she was the one who realized it, I said, what do you think is really holding you back here? And she said, perfectionism. The perfectionism is just a symptom of a lack of belief in yourself, a lack of self trust. There's some inner voice in you that is telling you you're not good enough. And so it will show up in your behaviors and how you resist or you back away or maybe you avoid the thing that you know you need to do over and over and over and self sabotage. But really it's because you don't believe in yourself enough. So as far as my methodology is, is we bring out that inner critic, we look at it and we talk about like why it's here, what its message is, and let it be your companion and your cheerleader. Along the way, transform the role of the inner critic so that it's there to support you. And it's not running the show.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:28:43

You're running the show and you're making the decisions and you, you are calling it out every time it shows up. Because that inner critic is a shape shifter. It'll say all the things you know, you're not smart enough, you aren't practiced enough, you don't have enough experience. You need to take another course. Right? Like all of that stuff is just procrastinating, doing the actions you know you need to do to get to the other side. So when I'm working with a client, we identify that inner critic and we bring it out into the open and then make plans, make actions from a place of self confidence, self trust and belief in where we're going. And also I'm a really great accountability partner. Yeah, you say you're going to do something, you show up and you haven't done it, we're going to talk about it.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:29:33

Right? This is not something we sweep under the rug. Like I am here as a dream advocate to make sure that you are getting to your dream. And I'm not going to back off and just be like, oh, it's okay, you know, sweetie, you got this. Like, you know, it's okay. If you need to rest, of course, rest is good. But as your dream advocate, I'm going to help you have the motivation and the self belief to follow through with what you really want to do.

Marli Williams [: 00:29:57

Right. And get curious about what's in the way, like leaning in versus like backing off and saying like let's get curious about what that that was about. You know what, what did you notice what came up for you, you know, and I think that, like, really identifying that inner critic and knowing that, you know, our brains are hardwired to keep us safe and anything that we is unknown feels unsafe. And I think that that inner critic is really trying to hold on for dear life and, like, protect us. And so it's kind of like, as the adult and as. As the advocate of your dreams, it's saying, hey, inner critic, I see you. I hear you. I got this.

Marli Williams [: 00:30:40

Let's do this together. I hear that you want to protect me, you want to keep me safe. I hear that you, you know, you're scared that we're going to fail. You know, all these things. And really, like, I love that, like, bringing them alongside you to really, like, support you in that. In that dream and in that vision and to not ignore it, but to really look at it and give it. Give it space and room to breathe. Because I think that we all have those fears and those doubts.

Marli Williams [: 00:31:07

And I remember a coach asked me a really powerful question when I was like, you know, a lot of people say, well, what do you want? Or, you know, it's like. And. Or they'll say, I don't know. Like, often they'll say that. And she said, what do you get out of that? And this is a similar answer to like, like, what do we get out of perfection? And like, not taking action or like, what do we get? I call it, I don't know. Land is we get to not fail. If we never try, if we never put the product, the service, the work out there, then we don't have to risk looking bad, looking dumb, looking like, you know, failing the fear, like, being judged. Right? So it's like that staying small and holding back.

Marli Williams [: 00:31:50

And I think that that's the power of coaching is without someone to name that or help, help. Like you said, ask questions of what's underneath, what's really holding you back. We can stay stuck in our own narrative or not even under. Not even realize it's the inner critic. We think it's who we are. And like, the power of parts work of, like, that's not who you are, it's just a part of who you are. But then it's like the inner mentor or the inner advocate or, like, who is this, like, higher self? That's like, if you have a vision, if you have a dream of something you want to build, make, create, do in the world, it is not an accident. And that means that it's like your job to.

Marli Williams [: 00:32:37

How can you honor that and bring that to life. Our inspiration is our intuition speaking to us and through us. And it's our job to like really be the advocate of that and like to bring that out into the world to bring that to life. And knowing that there are other people on the other side who need your magic medicine, you know, products or services that you're wanting to share and offer.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:33:03

Yes. And that's really down to the bottom of it. When there's a lack of action, it is all due to fear and the fear of a feeling. It's just a fear of a feeling. And our brain will trick us into believing like this is real danger here you're gonna face. But it's not physical danger. It's just an uncomfortable feeling. And so part of my coaching process is also helping my clients move through those feelings with self compassion and allow themselves to process that so that they can move to the other side so it can feel safe to feel the uncomfortable feeling.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:33:42

Like this is part of the journey. It doesn't need to be avoided. You can ground yourself even when you're disappointed. You can feel safe even when things didn't go your way. And we have tools and practices for that as well. So there's a lot of self compassion going on with the curiosity and the roller coaster ride is finding your grounded center through it all. And that's again going back to the self trust of it.

Marli Williams [: 00:34:09

Yeah, it's like, can I have my own back? And like really, as I go through this journey of really understanding, like what do I need in order to build that trust in ourselves? Right through, you know, bold, inspired action. As we take more actions, we start to build that muscle of like self trust and courage and momentum and energy. And it's like I think that that's where sometimes like the law of attraction gets a bad rap. It's like oh, just like, like manifest and like just visualize and just dream. But it's like really, I always say action is the language of the universe. So it's like you have the dream, you have the vision and you start. It's like when you were saying like I did the coach training and like it's like Joseph Campbell who talks about the hero's journey, he said when we follow our bliss, doors will open where there once were walls. And this idea of like, how much can I trust? Like when I take steps forward, I'm going to have more information.

Marli Williams [: 00:35:12

And I think people want to see like the whole end game versus like I just gotta take one step at a time. It's like how does anyone climb to the top of a mountain one step at a time? You know, and to this point of, like, evolution and enjoying the journey, it's like, you know, I went on a hike on Saturday with a group of amazing people, and. And I talked at the beginning about, like, the point of this hike and the point of life is not to get to the end as fast as possible. That is not the point. You know, and so we try to get from A to B.

Marli Williams [: 00:35:49

Like, how can I get there faster, quicker? You know, in this world, in this age of instant gratification, we just want to be there already. It's like, you know, we all want to have, like, a million followers on Instagram already. It's like, well, who do I get to become along the way? It's like honing my message and sharing my ideas and, like, making an impact. Right, right. But my question to them was, like, I really want you to take it all in. How much can you, you know, connect with yourself, connect with the people that we're with, take pictures, take breaks, grab a snack, enjoy the journey. And when you get to the top, you know, some people get to the top of the mountain and they're like, peace, done, out. We're going to savor it.

Marli Williams [: 00:36:30

We're going to soak it up. We're going to lay here in the sun, we're going to bask. We're going to, like, you know, when we get to the end of a goal, how can we also, like, celebrate the achieving of the goal, but also do the reflection of who did I get to become? What did I learn about myself? Like you said, it's like, when I achieved this goal, it made me, like, realize how freaking powerful and strong and capable I am in other areas of my life, too. What are the lessons that you learned about who you are? And then again, how did your identity shift?

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:37:03

That's really, like, the crux of the subtle shifts is that when you are making changes in your life, and especially if you have a big goal, it's easy to think that that big goal is a major shift. But really what it is is a bunch of little shifts that happen along the way that get you there and when you can be more intentional about reflecting about what those wins are. One of the practices that I really like is sitting down at the end of the day and writing down three wins from your day. Not just what I'm grateful for, but how did I grow and what. Like, how did I win today in life? And when you're focusing on the wins you bring in more winning into your life. You notice the winning more because your attention is shifted to that direction. And so if you just take that one concept, if it was, the only thing that someone took from this conversation that we're having is that I'm going to sit down and write down three wins. At the end of the day, they are automatically shifting the trajectory of where they're going to where they want to go.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:38:07

And over time, they'll be in a completely different place. Not, not necessarily physically, but just like energetically and mentally and emotionally. And that's just one little thing, one little practice. But if you implement, say three or four, again, the shift can be bigger. But point is, you're putting your rudder in the direction you want to go. And like you said, taking action to make that move. And eventually you're there and you're like. Wow, look at me.

Marli Williams [: 00:38:34

Here I am. Yeah. I always like to say we get more of what we look for. It's so often, oh, here's all the things on my to do list that I didn't get done today. We focus on what we didn't do versus on what we did do, you know, we all make a to do list, but do we write a done list or a wins list? Right. Like, look at all the things that I did and like these small little, like, again, these subtle shifts. It's like making the phone call, sending the email, like, booking the plane ticket, whatever it is, like, to actually move in the direction of whatever your dream or vision is. And you know, when I think about, you know, to create a vision or a dream that pulls you forward, that's like, it's so compelling that it inspires me to take action versus, like, I think that this, like, is this a should goal? I should run the marathon? I should da da da da da.

Marli Williams [: 00:39:36

Or like, this is like the calling that is like deep in my soul, my spirit, my heart, I can't not do this thing. I'm being pulled, called guided. It's such a different energy than like, should supposed to have to energy, right? Like, I have to work out, I have to exercise. It's like, like, what is the vision for your health and wellbeing that inspires you? Is the vision like playing with your grandkid? You know, it's like, is it climbing to the top of some mountain somewhere? Like, what's the vision that actually inspires you to, like, put on your running shoes, hire the trainer, like, eat the broccoli, like, whatever it is so that it's not like, I should. And I'm supposed to when I have to, but I'm like, this is just who I am now.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:40:21

Exactly. The identity.

Marli Williams [: 00:40:22

The identity piece. I am someone who, we say makes sexy choices instead of healthy choices. We're like, I make sexy choices. This is a sexy choice. Eating broccoli or like, this is like, I want to be sexy. You know, it's like, but like finding also like a fun way for you because it might not be lose 10 pounds. It's like, I want to like, wear this dress or paint whatever outfit to this event. And I want to like, look hot.

Marli Williams [: 00:40:47

And I want to feel when I see photos of me on stage, I want to be like, hell yeah.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:40:54

Yeah.

Marli Williams [: 00:40:54

Like, what is that compelling, compelling vision, not the should supposed you have to narratives that we've been told or taught? Like, you'll be successful when you're this. When you're this much weight or when you have this much money or when you own this house or whatever it is. It's like, like, what is the vision that actually inspires you and then moving from that place.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:41:20

Right. And you mentioned celebrating along the way. And that's so important because as humans, especially as high achievers, we look at where we need to go and what we still need to do to get there. When you compare yourself to where you were and you measure yourself against yourself in the past, again with the energy, you can see how much growth. So if I were to look back in 2017, when I originally decided I wanted to be an entrepreneur, to where my mind would be blown at what I have done. And so instead of thinking like, gosh, you know, I still have an ZYX, I can look back and be like, holy crap, I am such a badass. Look at what I've done and then go do the things that I want to do.

Marli Williams [: 00:42:07

Hell yeah. Like, it's such a different come from.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:42:09

Yeah.

Marli Williams [: 00:42:10

Like the place that we're coming from is like, look at how far I've come. And we overestimate what we can accomplish in a day, but underestimate what we can accomplish in a year or even overestimate what we can do in a year versus even 10 years. Right. And like, looking how far we have come. And there's an amazing book called the Gap and the Gain. I just read it that talks about like, are we focused on how far we have to go? Or we focus on like the growth and the gains and who we've become. Right? And when we come from that place, it's like, what else could be Possible.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:42:45

And surrounding yourself with people who are just as lit up. That's what it's all about. And that's why when I met you, I'm like, yep, I need to know this person because she's lit up with a purpose. I'm lit up with a purpose. And when I'm surrounded by people like that, like, the conversations are fire and I see what you're doing and it lights me up. I'm like, yeah, we're making. Making, you know, big moves in this world and we are living our purpose and inspiring other people to do the same. There is no greater griff gift, because when you are living your purpose, it impacts everyone around you.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:43:21

When you're lit up, your relationships are better, your life experience, your health, everything. Like a rising tide lifts all ships.

Marli Williams [: 00:43:29

Yeah. When you're in alignment with your life, your soul, your heart, your energy, and I think so often it's like, like, can we give ourselves permission to slow down enough to tune in and tap into that energy and ask those big questions? And, you know, it can be hard and intimidating to kind of do that work on our own. And that's, again, we both believe in the power of having a coach and having an advocate and someone who's on your side and on your team because who, you know, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, with. So it's like, I have big goals and big dreams. I want to hang out with people who have big goals and big dreams. I have a purpose. I am. I want to make an impact.

Marli Williams [: 00:44:11

I want to hang out with people who are making an impact. Our peer group has such a huge influence on how we think, how we. The conversations we have, how we feel about ourselves, how we talk about ourselves, the conversations that we have around. What are you working on? What are you up to? How can we help each other and, you know, to be in circles and spaces too, where you can. Can celebrate and share your wins. Because we live in a culture of complaining and it's like, it is. We think that it's vulnerable to share about, like, like, what's hard. I think it's easy to share what's hard sometimes, not always, but, like, think about your biggest wins and, and if you feel comfortable sharing those, whether that's like, I got a client and I made, you know, for this much money, I just booked a keynote for this much.

Marli Williams [: 00:44:56

I just got a book deal for that. Like, and if you share that as someone like, like rolling their eyes and like, wanting to cut you down or Are they genuinely happy for you?

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:45:07

Exactly. And who you surround yourself is what it's all about and,

Marli Williams [: 00:45:12

So important.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:45:13

You said, you said so much of the society, there's complaining, there's also comparison competition. And when you're with people who are wanting to bring that energy and it's going to bring you down. So when you surround yourself with wonderful, inspiring people, even if it's through a podcast, that's, that's gonna do everything for you as far as your confidence and just your energy level and your self belief in what's possible.

Marli Williams [: 00:45:38

It's who you're hanging out with. And it's like, what is the information I'm letting in? Right? And we can curate our algorithm.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:45:47

Yeah.

Marli Williams [: 00:45:48

Right? When you look at your Instagram feed, your TikTok, whatever you watch, listen to Facebook, does it move you, motivate you, inspire you? Or does it totally drain you and drag you down? Does it zap you and energetically deplete you? And it's like, yeah, I go on two walks a day with my dogs. I can get through like an audiobook or a few podcasts every single week, just walking my dogs and like, choosing to fill myself up with that information and that inspiration of like, I'm choosing to educate myself. So, you know, you're listening to this, like, high five, because you are on the journey and on the path and like, like wanting to grow and learn and evolve and expand into like, you know, and I'd love to ask everybody out there who's listening is like, what is that next evolution of you, right? Like, what are you wanting to step into? What are you wanting to explore or expand into? And like, what are some, you know, I love this, like the phrase of what are some subtle shifts that you can make, maybe not giant shifts, but like, in the direction of, of that compelling vision of that goal of that dream that you have for yourself. So as we kind of bring things home, I would love for you to share any final kind of thoughts. Golden Nuggets, words of wisdom for our audience today. And then where can people find you, learn more about you and your work in the world.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:47:12

My last words of wisdom is that for the listener who is sitting there either wondering what's next for them or with that big dream in their heart and uncertainty as to how to get just takes setting your compass toward the goal and then asking yourself, what's my next right step? Taking that next step, and you just do that over and over and over. Eventually all the other chips fall into place, you'll start aligning yourself with the people who are meant to be. Align in alignment in your life and you'll start noticing the exterior changes reflecting your internal change changes. Just make a decision and start moving in that direction like it really is as simple as that.

Marli Williams [: 00:47:57

So good. I love that. Beautiful.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:48:00

And people can find me on my podcast, which is called Subtle Shifts with Jennifer Delliquadri. I'm also on Instagram Jennifer Delliquadri and yeah, I would love to connect with people in both places.

Marli Williams [: 00:48:11

I love that. All over the place. Well, you know, I always like to hear people's golden nuggets and takeaways and gems and. And you know, I always say action is where the magic happens. I think we both have that in common. And like you said, if there is a goal, a dream, a vision you have, it's like, what is one small step that you can take today in service of yourself? It's like, really? You know, I love this conversation of, like, how can we cultivate that deep trust within ourselves through taking action in service of that vision and become an advocate for our own dreams? So thank you so much for sharing your medicine and your magic, sharing your story and your journey with all of us today. And I hope that you go out there, listener, and make those subtle shifts to evolve and expand into the next version of you. Thanks again for tuning in.

Marli Williams [: 00:49:05

Thanks, Jennifer, for being here. Appreciate you.

Jennifer Delliquadri [: 00:49:07

Thank you so much for having me.

Marli Williams [: 00:49:09

All right, everybody, until next time, take care. Thank you for joining us on another inspiring episode of the Marli Williams Podcast. We hope you're leaving here with renewed energy and valuable insights to fuel your leadership, coaching and speaking endeavors. I'd love to invite you to subscribe, rate, and review this podcast to help us reach more aspiring leaders and speakers like you. We have more exciting episodes and reminders, remarkable guests lined up, so make sure to tune in next time. Until then, keep leading with purpose, coaching with heart, and speaking with conviction. This is Marli Williams signing off. See you next week.